


After the Ballad

by imaginary_golux



Category: Ballad of Hua Mulan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-07
Updated: 2011-07-07
Packaged: 2017-10-21 02:52:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/220078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginary_golux/pseuds/imaginary_golux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hua Mulan reflects on her time in the army.  Written for Porn Battle X.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the Ballad

Hua Mulan is content, when she comes home triumphant, to let her loving family think that she spent her years in the army without being discovered as female. Let them think she kept herself bound and concealed for years, bathing privately and changing in thickets; let them think that she held her virgin's blood more precious than the rest of her blood. It harms nothing to let them think that. Let them believe her armor protected her from ardor as well as arrows.

It is easier to let them believe she is still innocent than to explain that tentmates never have secrets from each other, that from the first month, the tall plain man who shared a tent with her knew she was a woman and did not care. It is easier to smile and say nothing than to explain the love she shared with him - a love they both knew would not last longer than the war, one they were careful to conceal from all around them, though it was not uncommon for tentmates to bond so. It is easier to gloss over those years, or to speak of battles and campaigns, than to mention the terror of trying to find birthbane flower, or the moments of fright when someone barged into the tent without warning.

It is easier to smile and turn away than to explain that she lost her precious virgin's blood bent over a saddle with her tentmate caressing her breasts and whispering that she was beautiful, strong, brave, wonderful. It is easier to say nothing than to say that, of all the wounds she suffered, of all the terrors she experienced, the worst was the last battle, the battle her tentmate died in, and knowing that she would never feel his hands, his mouth, his gentle strength again. Hua Mulan is content to let her family think that she is still pure. The explanations otherwise would take too long.


End file.
